What to Do When Your Class Won’t Talk With You [Episode 225]

Rebecca Joyner [00:00:01]:
You may have read the title of this episode and thought, wow, I cannot relate. I have the opposite problem. I cannot get my students to shut up for goodness sakes. They’re always gabbin’ and they never close their mouths. Okay. But I know that there are others of you that get it. That feeling when you just have a class of crickets, like your students are actual crickets and they just won’t engage and talk with you. Like they will talk to each other.

Rebecca Joyner [00:00:29]:
There are pros and cons to both of these types of classrooms, and I know for me, like, I have a lot of energy and I, I like a lot of back and forth. And for those classes, especially when I was at a small private school, and sometimes I would get like a tiny class of like 11 students and they would be so quiet, just— it’s hard and it’s— it can be awkward. And I know that I’m not alone in that. One of the responses to my annual podcast listener survey said this. This teacher said, I’ve never had a class before that won’t talk to me at all. It’s like pulling teeth to get them to answer a question and interact with me. They’ll think, pair, share all day, but it’s crickets when it comes to speaking out loud to me. How can I get them comfortable and willing to share aloud? So I am recording this episode for that teacher and anyone else who has struggled with a classroom of students who simply will not talk with you or engage verbally in your class.

Rebecca Joyner [00:01:25]:
And I have 5 suggestions for you for what I would personally do, because they’re what I’ve done when I’ve had similar situations in the past. So let’s dive in.

Rebecca Joyner [00:01:36]:
This is Secondary Science Simplified, a podcast for secondary science teachers who want to engage their students and simplify their lives. I’m Rebecca Joyner from It’s Not Rocket Science. As a high school science teacher turned curriculum writer, I am passionate about helping other science teachers love their jobs, serve their students, and do it all in only 40 hours a week. Are you ready to rock the time you spend in your classroom and actually have a life outside of it? You are in the right place, teacher friend. Let’s get to today’s episode.

Rebecca Joyner [00:02:11]:
Tip number 1 for when your students will not talk to you is to be curious and be compassionate. So first, I’d be wondering— like, why, you know, is there something that I’m doing that makes you feel like you can’t talk to me? You just don’t want to, you don’t care about anything in my class, like you just think I’m boring, so you don’t want to talk to me. Like, is there a deeper reason, or is there something obvious that I— it’s not obvious to me that I might be missing for why they do not want to talk in my class? Is there some sort of relationship dynamic between some of the students that are in your class that are making others not want to speak in front of them. So these are questions I might be asking. You can pull students aside one by one and kind of engage with this question. If it truly feels like it’s every single student, it’s something you could do as like an exit ticket. Like, hey, write on this Post-it note one reason why you don’t like talking to me in this class. And I think making it really specific like that, instead of just being like, why don’t you talk to me? But saying, put one reason— every single person to walk out this door, I want one reason on this Post-it note.

Rebecca Joyner [00:03:14]:
And then you just kind of collect them, and then they’re semi-anonymous because it’s not like on a piece of paper, just to kind of see if there’s anything going on that you might need to address. So I would be curious and ask why. And then the second thing I would do is be compassionate, like I said. So we’re going to be curious and compassionate. I think it’s so easy for us to forget, if you’re around my age, how different the childhoods are of these students that you have compared to your personal childhood and how they’re just not used to talking face to face with other people like we were. Okay, I mean, if I even wanted to call a friend on the phone, I had to at least talk to her parent or her sibling who answered the phone before I could even get to my friend. So I just think we were raised in a generation, in a time where we were constantly engaging and talking with other people. You had a research project, we had to go to the library and talk face to face with a librarian to help you get the books that you needed to look up the information.

Rebecca Joyner [00:04:15]:
You know, there’s just so much more face-to-face contact. And then on the flip side, there was so much less screen-to-screen contact. So we didn’t get used— I feel like they’ve gotten used to just being able to say anything through a screen and they’re not feel like there are repercussions to that. And so then that makes it even scarier for them to talk face to face because it does feel like there’s heavier consequences because there are. So I just think, again, this is a theme kind of we talked about in last week’s episode 224 about keeping students’ attention and keeping them engaged. Like, this is the theme of this idea of these muscles that they just simply don’t have. And so trying to be compassionate of like, I cannot hold them to the standard of what I would hold someone else who’s my age to, or what— of what I did when I was in high school, because we can’t compare those two because we have such different experiences. However, that doesn’t mean we just drop the bar and say, well, they’re awkward because all they do is, you know, Snapchat and TikToks and text each other, and they never actually talk face to face with people.

Rebecca Joyner [00:05:20]:
And so that’s where I think number 2 comes in. So first, we’re going to be curious and compassionate. Second, we’re going to set expectations. I love a State of the Union address in my classroom, or if you’re, you know, from the South and like the Bible Belt area, which I am not, I just now live in the South, people refer to it as a come to Jesus talk. Okay, but I like to refer to it as a State of the Union address and sitting everyone down and just saying, hey, maybe I haven’t been clear about like the expectations or how I want this classroom to feel. But I just want you to know I want to talk to you at least 2 times a day. I want you to speak to me directly at least 2 times a day. And so that’s the expectation that we’re going to have moving forward, and here is how I’m going to make sure we do that.

Rebecca Joyner [00:06:08]:
And that’s where you introduce popsicle sticks like I mentioned in last week’s episode. So you have every student’s name on a stick. You’re going to go through your bag of sticks twice in one class period. Now, this is a class culture thing. It’s a lot easier to establish a classroom culture identity if you do it from the very beginning of the year, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. So you just need to clearly communicate this new shift in this new expectation and then consistently reinforce it. You’re not going to let them go. So like, if you draw their name and you’re expecting them to talk, they’re gonna have to talk.

Rebecca Joyner [00:06:39]:
And like I mentioned last week, there can be some grace there where you give them a freebie and you can throw their name back in, but then you’re still going to draw their name twice in that day. Now I will warn you, you will have some students that will take their names out of the bag. You gotta keep an eye out for that. I’ve noticed the easiest way to kind of spot that is when you’re doing groups and then someone’s name’s like not in there, or if you try to take attendance with your popsicle sticks, or, you know, there’s some other things you can do. But I have had students steal their names out of my bag because they don’t want me to draw their name. And that is such an extreme choice that you need to talk to that student one-on-one and just say, I’m gonna try to give you lower lift opportunities to engage. And that’s my third tip. We’re not gonna lower the bar of the expectation for them to speak in your class, but we are gonna lower the bar of the opportunities that we give them to engage so it doesn’t feel like it costs so much.

Rebecca Joyner [00:07:30]:
Again, especially cuz we’re, we’re starting with compasión and just understanding that this is something so many of them are not good at. So we are going to help and equip them with that. So for example, I’ve said this before, but if we ask a question in the class and then we draw names and we say, okay, Kaylie, your turn to answer. And she just can’t. Instead of just saying, I don’t know, an opportunity that’s a little lower lift, cuz maybe she doesn’t wanna expose herself how she really doesn’t know. Maybe then, okay, hey, what’s a question that you could ask that I could answer that maybe could help you? Or, oh, let’s like work through this together. If it’s a quantitative problem, I’ll bring them up to the board and be like, you’re gonna be the scribe. You’re gonna write.

Rebecca Joyner [00:08:10]:
We’re gonna talk, the whole class is gonna help you. And then I do my RADAR process of problem solving, and I would coach the class and we would coach the student, and all the students expected to do is then write, but you’re still engaging with them and you’re not letting them off the hook there. Another option is to give them multiple choice answers, like, okay, well then vote. Do you think this or do you think this? And then they’re just picking. That feels lower lift and less threatening for them. Another way to get them to speak out loud is simply having them read directions out loud, having them do think-pair-shares like the teacher who submitted this mentioned. I think that is like a great way to start. Like, you’re gonna think about this on your own.

Rebecca Joyner [00:08:49]:
You can write down some ideas. You can then, when you pair up with your neighbor, read from the things you wrote down, and then together, um, one of you from each pair is gonna share. And, uh, and you can again read from something you’ve written down. Doesn’t have to be from memory if that feels too overwhelming. But I do think starting with them sharing with their neighbor is helpful before you expect them to share in front of the entire class, because the problem might not be that they don’t want to talk to you. The problem might be that they don’t want to speak up in front of their peers, and that’s what feels the most intimidating about it. Again, that’s why we’re kind of asking why. We want to make sure we’re creating a classroom where they feel safe to speak up and they feel safe to quote unquote mess up or fail.

Rebecca Joyner [00:09:30]:
Without feeling dumb or being made to feel dumb. I think that’s a huge fear of— they don’t want to feel incompetent, that they look that way. So we need to make sure that we’re not allowing their peers to make them feel that way. That’s a way that we can kind of make our classroom safe. Another thing we can do is letting them write a problem on the board. So especially if you’re in like a physics, a physical science, a chemistry, where you have quantitative problems, I will say, okay, like, as you finish, I’ll draw names and be like, okay, you’re doing number 1, this person’s doing number 2, this one’s doing number 3, etc. And then I’ll, I’ll divide my whiteboard up into 5 cubes, if you will, or 5 compartments. They each get one, they write the work up there, and they’re all kind of up there as one at once while other people are finishing their problems at their desk.

Rebecca Joyner [00:10:12]:
Then we sit down and go over it. But then like while we’re going over it, I may engage with them and I will give them lots of positive feedback. And I think that’s a big win too, of like, oh, I love how you did this. Oh, but like here we made a mistake here. That’s totally common. Do not feel bad about that. I’m sure there’s so many people in the class that also made the same thing, you know, did the same thing right here. And we’re just gonna really try to build them up there, even though I know they’re not speaking when they’re writing on the whiteboard.

Rebecca Joyner [00:10:39]:
It’s a way to get them to engage with you and for you to feel safe. They need to feel safe in your classroom. And that brings me to tip number 4, which is relationship building. I talked about this last week. I’m talking about it again because it is, it is the foundation of it all. We have to have these relationships with students so that they feel comfortable. I think this starts with greeting them at the door. I am a huge fan, if you can.

Rebecca Joyner [00:11:05]:
I think the only people that really can’t are floaters, because you’re running between classrooms. But if you’re not floating, I would do everything in your power to be at the door to greet your students as they walk in every single day. It’s saying their name when they walk in. You know, you’re not having to have a deep discussion, but just saying like, hey Jordan, hey Mateo, like I’m saying hi to you. I’m, I’m looking in your eyes. Someone else may not do that all day long. They may just be hiding in their hoodie. I’m talking to each person individually, and this is where you kind of take notes of what they care about.

Rebecca Joyner [00:11:36]:
I mentioned last week, and this kind of goes with like the lower lift thing, but doing the news of interest at the beginning of your class period, saying, hey, is there any news of interest? And you can draw names and see, or just let people volunteer information. But this is where students would share in my high school chemistry teacher’s class, like, oh, we have a volleyball tournament this weekend, or Oh, like the dance is tomorrow. We’re all talking about it. Like, and you can kind of engage and see what they care about. And then what you can do at the end of the day is do a tell me something good. So you can just literally tell me anything, anything that you think is good or interesting, or if like, they’re like, I don’t have anything good, be like, okay, tell me something bad. And then it’s an opportunity to connect with them that is not about science and being right or wrong. And they don’t have to feel shame about messing up because it’s like, you can’t mess up just sharing literally anything.

Rebecca Joyner [00:12:25]:
That would be considered good or bad. And so I think those are really small ways that you can do that and build that relationship and get through those popsicle sticks twice in a class period, y’all. I genuinely do recommend to taking the notes about what they care about or what they talk about. So if you know that they play on this team or they’re doing the theater program or they’re in the band or they work at this restaurant, I just have little notes I jot down so that I know. And then if there’s an opportunity for me to go see them at that restaurant, I try. If there’s an opportunity for me to take my kids to go watch the soccer game or see the school play or go to the school concert, I try to do it so that, that I am supporting my students. I will admit that I did not have children while I was still in the classroom full-time. We adopted my oldest of my 3 kids on the last day.

Rebecca Joyner [00:13:10]:
He was born the last day of quarter 3, so my maternity leave was like all of quarter 4, and then I did not go back, but I was still extremely involved in my school for the remaining— the next 4 years. I was in this program that we had called Life on Life where I was mentoring different students and I just served in a couple of their ways and volunteered in a few other ways. So I still had these relationships with my old students where I was going back and seeing them and going back to games. And I have so many darling pictures of all three of my children, you know, in the ergo, in the wagon, whatever, on the sideline. And I just think it’s a very cool thing to engage your family in and support your students in. And show them that you care. I think it really makes a difference. And I would always make a point to go see them after the game, or, you know, shout at them.

Rebecca Joyner [00:13:56]:
I have a really loud holler, it’s very distinct, so they could hear me in the stands, you know, that kind of thing, to show them that they— you care. So it’s that relationship building really matters. And last but not least, number 5 is discussion every day. You’re changing your class culture where we are going to discuss, and we’re going to discuss as a group, and we’re going to speak out loud, and that just is what it is. And I’m not gonna— I’m not gonna lower the bar on that, okay? So in some way, somehow, you will be speaking every single day, and you gotta commit to the bit. You’ve gotta sit in silence if needed. Sometimes I would resort to the popsicle sticks, of course, to force people to talk to me. But I think your commitment to this is what matters most in terms of changing your classroom culture.

Rebecca Joyner [00:14:37]:
I think anytime you’re trying to make a shift, whether that’s in the culture of your home with your kids and how you’re doing things, or in the culture of your classroom and how you’re doing things with your students, you first and foremost have to be committed to the change, and you’ve got to lead the charge on that and hold the line. Like, I’m committed to discussion, so we are going to now do that. And not in like a mean way, but in a like— this is an important thing, this is a skill you need to be able to have in real life. Like, yeah, we live in a very tech-forward world, but you will still have to interact with people to their faces. And I think it’s super important for us to practice talking to humans when so much of our life is talking to humans through screens, or even talking to non- human, AI robots, and screens. Okay, so we need to remember the humanity of it all. And again, all goes back to that relationship building. So my challenge for you today, if you have not made popsicle sticks yet after last week’s episode, what are you doing? I’m kidding, but seriously, make the popsicle sticks.

Rebecca Joyner [00:15:36]:
Have a student that finishes early in your class, make the popsicle sticks. You can get a box of 1,000 for like $10 and use them forever and ever. I highly recommend trying that. Make sure you’re engaging with each student twice in a class period, and remember to engage with them in some low-lift, very simple ways. And let’s get them talking. I have a virtual professional development course on classroom culture, and I have one on relationship building, and I also have a ton of podcasts on relationships in general. Episode 41, episode 134, and then an entire series I’ve done on just student apathy. Because that’s kind of related to this.

Rebecca Joyner [00:16:13]:
I find if their, their silence is due to them being apathetic— I’m going to link all that in the show notes. And then the last thing I’m going to link that I really want you to check out is my application to be a guest on the podcast. I love interviewing full-time high school science teachers because I love hearing what’s working for you guys right now in the classroom, and I think everyone benefits. So I would love for you to apply, be on the podcast. It’s really simple. You just fill out the Google form. It’s at bit.ly/sssguest. And then in May, I will be going through those and reaching out to people that I think would be a good fit.

Rebecca Joyner [00:16:46]:
Sometimes if I have like a ton of great submissions, then I’ll send a couple of you this opportunity to send me a voice memo so that way I can just make sure, like, I just, sometimes when I hear people talk, it’s easier to kind of discern like, okay, you, I think you would be great. You, you know, whatever. And then I’ll reach out to you and I schedule all of the interviews for the summer so that they’re easy. We can totally work around your schedule. And you don’t have to worry about like doing it at 9:00 PM on a Monday after you’ve gotten home from teaching and coaching and all those other things. So we do them in the summer. They’re very low key. We do have the camera on, it’s on Zoom, so it’s very simple just so we can see each other’s faces and talk and it feels natural.

Rebecca Joyner [00:17:24]:
But then I only really save the audio and that’s what I obviously share with you guys. So I would love to have you on and I would love to hear your tips for how, how do you get your students to talk when they’re not talking to you? How do you manage your classroom when they talk too much? How do you engage your students that are really apathetic? How do you handle cell phones? Like, how do you handle ChatGPT? I just— these are the questions I love asking other people because I’m just one person. So I would love to have you on the podcast. Check the show notes to apply.

Rebecca Joyner [00:17:52]:
All right, teacher friends, that wraps up today’s episode.

Rebecca Joyner [00:17:56]:
If you’re looking for an easy way to start simplifying your life as a

Rebecca Joyner [00:17:59]:
secondary science teacher, head to It’s Not Rocket Science Classroom classroom.com/challenge to grab your Classroom Reset Challenge.

Rebecca Joyner [00:18:07]:
And guess what?

Rebecca Joyner [00:18:08]:
It’s totally free.

Rebecca Joyner [00:18:09]:
Thanks so much for tuning in, and I’ll see you here next week.

Rebecca Joyner [00:18:12]:
Until then, I’ll be rooting for you, teacher friend.