My husband stays up every night to watch Jimmy Fallon. This is not a luxury we teachers can ever enjoy unless we want to feel like trolls when our alarms go off 5 hours after “Late Night” ends. Often the next day he sends me clips from the show that he enjoyed. One of his favorites that have become mine as well is Jimmy Fallon’s “Thank You” notes. You can watch a sample here.
I was thinking the other day that I have a LOT of thank you notes I could write like Jimmy Fallon does, related to teachers. So here is my first round of thank you notes, themed for back to school.
Thank you district supervisors for providing such relevant training and feasible goals for our teacher workdays. I really didn’t want to get ANYTHING done before the first day of school, and it’s been great spending our last few summer nights doing all of the work in our classrooms we couldn’t do during the actual workday as we listened to the new software you invested in to improve our data collection as a district. We all look forward to inevitably spending more time troubleshooting than actually using it to help us.
Thank you teacher who actually raises their hand to ask a question at the end of a 3-hour faculty meeting. That was definitely a question that couldn’t wait and that the whole group needed to hear. Thanks for including us all in your personal problems even though they actually have nothing to do with any of us.
Thank you parents who came to back to school night and cornered me for a private 15-minute conversation about your child. It wasn’t awkward at all for any of the other parents who were trying to meet me and get the information about the class.
Thank you high school student for not writing your name on any papers. I know you do it because you think I like being a handwriting analyst, but it will be nice when you graduate so that I can one day simply watch Law and Order without having to apply the forensic tactics from the show in order to determine your identity as I grade your papers.
Thank you copier for being the one thing that is dependable in life. I can always count on you to jam when I am trying to get my syllabi copied before the first day of school, and I appreciate your constancy in my life.
Thank you parent that reads absolutely nothing I send home, put on my class website, or put into the online gradebook. I appreciate you wanting me to grow in patience and grace as I listen to the 10-minute voicemail rant you left me about all of the information you can’t find about your child’s grade. You are making me a better person, 1 unnecessary parent conference at a time.
Thank you, parent, that sends their kid to school even though they have strep. We are all really enjoying the fevers and feeling like we are swallowing daggers.
Speaking of sickness, thank you Emergen-C. Because of you teachers everywhere are jacked up on excessive amounts of Vitamin C as a Hail Mary attempt to avoid all the diseases their students bring in each day. Now if only you helped with lice prevention…
And finally, thank you coworker who brings Dunkin Donuts to the teacher workroom. Seriously, you’re the real MVP. That’s all.